High Friends In Places Part 1/3 - "The Daily Grind"

Introduction.

June already? I really didn't see that coming.
I haven't blogged for a little while now and that is primarily due to this funnel of truth, this great vent of over exposure, this one, great, blog is being
*You may need to sit down for this shocking exclusive expose'*
Yes this here "infowebs-sighting" (® C.J Hixon 2005 - 2008)

is being *a-hem* READ BY some PEOPLE!!!

WTF?
If you are reading this right now it may seem obvious to you you may even be thinking along the lines of "The boy has quite clearly lost his proverbial marbles. This here is one of them electronic pages, designed especially to looked at with the eyes and such larks" you'd be right and apparently a Cockney. (If you're not a Cockney please email me your details of ethnicity here so I can command my inner monologue to be more befitting of your race in future.)
Allow me to explain myself. This here site has over time developed somewhat of a "Rep", and a negative "Rep" at that. I've never personally had a "Rep" before (other than being a lazy, border line alcoholic that would rather spend time in his house playing guitar and talking to a porky Basset Hound than do any actual socialising with real people.) and the intronets (® C.J Hixon 2008) to me have always been closely regarded as a place for fun and joviality.
Observe:



See?! We all had fun with that didn't we! Good clean wholesome good times with no foul fucking language or anything.

It's got to a stage here that I really feel claustrophobic for fear of pissing people off. Allow me to preempt some future enquiries, let's all play a round of:

REASON FOR HATING MY BLOG

If you've never played before, the rules are simple, just spot which of the following sentences that best answers or lends itself to the statement:
"REASON FOR HATING MY BLOG"

1)For fear of getting Dooced.
2)For constantly having to hold back due to social anxieties.
3)Being unable to ever name names and shame shames about things that are or could be happening anywhere in the world and subsequently... (See point 4)
4)For being completely misunderstood (It happens so easily when I type before I think and there's zero inflection, most of this page could be read like I'm crying or being really sarcastic... I'm doing neither right now.).
5)Being reduced to posting blogs like this one and putting out a (unfortunately truthful at time of posting) image of myself that I really don't like and never want to be.
6)Feeling obligated to post about things I do enjoy but are for varying reasons quite quite silly and thus making me come across to any that read as quite a silly person. Example:

Or is it...
7)All of the above.

I think you've had my point driven into your face at this stage so I'll leave that nugget of awful right there to fester.

Lastly, witty banter.
example:

"Fully Loaded, Deaf and Dumb and Done says:
You flat out don't care about conserving energy do you?

Fully Loaded, Deaf and Dumb and Done says:
look at you fast asleep drooling like a child.

Fully Loaded, Deaf and Dumb and Done says:
you make me sick

Fully Loaded, Deaf and Dumb and Done says:
i outta hack your machine to make it play all saints very loudly right about now to wake you up

Fully Loaded, Deaf and Dumb and Done says:
so you can see how disgusting you look.

Fully Loaded, Deaf and Dumb and Done says:
by disgusting i of course mean hot."

Copied straight from an MSN conversation with myself as I know for a fact that the gentleman in question sleeps with his messenger on and open. I believe he is of the character that he will not be offended by the message he'll eventually wake up to nor do I believe that he finds any truth in my statement of "So you can see how disgusting you look. By disgusting I of course mean hot." and I know for a fact that he won't view this message as any sort of sexual advance. Just japing of the chops is all. Witty banter. If only the rest of the world were more like him... or me... or any other sensible soul I have the good fortune of calling my friend.
However this is not what the world is coming to. People are suing for anything and everything under the sun. What I would deem offensive others would see as everyday lingo, par for the course if you will. The saddening difference is that nowadays I can claim money for my prudish offence.
I believe that this blog can be and eight of ten times is very offensive. My only argument would be that if you don't like it, don't read it (I'm sure I've said that on here before...).

Fact remains that I have just plain got to either change the URL without telling anybody, in which case only a select handful of people and the odd stumbler by will be able to read my musings of day to day woe, or stop caring. The latter being the tougher decision to make (if I do end up going along with the second I'll sort the template out for FireFox I swear)
And so I thought I'd stick one last, albeit huge and in three parts, post on here to see how I feel about the whole charade. A post about a few things that are ever so important in my drop in the ocean, flash in the pan of a life. The way things should be, the way things are and the way you want.

Oh do enjoy you clever sausage you.

C.J


Fin.




High Friends In Places
Part 1/3 - "The Daily Grind"

C.J & Si Hixon: "Must Try Harder"

"There's never been a public display of gratitude, that's a wrong that needs righted" - New Song #3 - C.J Hixon, May '08

I first met Si in 2002 whilst working nights at a 24 hour service station. It was a couple of weeks in when we first started discussing music, a conversation that drew from a vivid almost lucid dream I had the evening before about Wayne Coyne of Flaming Lips fame coming at me with a chainsaw and me having to find an appropriate kitchen utensil to disarm and and kill him with. A great start to any long lasting relationship.
Once we had gotten all aspects of daytime drinking integrated with a loose night shift rota we went on to develop our somewhat "Unique and partially unlistenable" style of performing music. Filling in gaps in the sound with a detuned guitar and an ear for off beat drum fills we both enlisted the only person we knew that could have a crack at singing and so The Hixon Trial was born.


I guess this is the half caff version of events that everybody gets, but it really is that simple.
In 2005 I was living in Suffolk some way away from Essex and keeping contact with my good friend once a week via voicemail. Feeling particually shitty one day I suggested an excusion to a meeting point between the two of us, Colchester. upon arrival Si presented me with a Mini Disc loaded with awesome music entitled
"A Little Comp - March '05" The tracklisting ran like this:

1. bang bang (my baby shot me down) - nancy sinatra
2. hounds of love - the futureheads
3. badhead - blur
4. waking up - evan dando
5. hands off the bayou - pavement
6. moving on - mercury rev
7. the storm - tanya donnelly
8. into my arms - nick cave
9. academy fight song - mission of burma
10. the classical - the fall
11. pretty baby - the milkshakes (feat. billy childish)
12. formed a band - art brut
13. lowdown - wire
14. hands around my throat - death in vegas
15. avril 14th - aphex twin
16. today is the day - yo la tengo
17. geno - dexy's midnight runners
18. oh my god - kaiser chiefs
19. true to you - thee mighty caesars (feat. billy childish)
20. pay no mind (snoozer) - beck
21. finest worksong - rem
22. start choppin' - dinosaur jr
23. i see a darkness - bonnie 'prince' billy
24. the ship song - nick cave
25. layla (piano outro) - derek and the dominos

I still have it and we have kept up the exchange of sweet tracks to this day.
Some of mine have been 52 tracks long and some have been on CD thus limiting the amount of music to around 20 tracks or so. These past few months I've made a few doozies, Somthing to sample yourselves (If you can't read it clicky for bigger)

Feb '08:

April '08:

June '08:

But it's not all Mix-Tapes (yes, I said tapes) and drinking (we also smoke) I maintain to this very day that there is no better man to have behind you hitting the skins (so to speak, I never use the term 'hitting the skins')


A little 'shout out' from me to you sir.
Happy Birthday (Comp in the post)

http://www.myspace.com/hixontrial
http://www.myspace.com/twlitf


"Bom bom cha, bah bada bada bah! Bom cha bom bom bom cha cha, bada bada...."

Nobody's listening.....

High Friends In PlacesPart 2/3 - "Kentish Men socialising with Men of Kent & other stories... act 1"

I'm ill this week. NOT the Beastie Boys meaning of ill the other four tons of liquid pouring out my nose meaning. I lost a day to it yesterday, I got up around five and felt like I was pissed as a fart, I mean punch drunk fucking hammered. not nice. Seeing as this second installment has taken me nearly a month to get to the stage it is now I've decided to segment this third of a post into many smaller posts for added confusion..... and I just don't care anymore.

Do enjoy.


Prologue

It has always surprised me to find out where readers of this steaming pile of literary no nos are actually located in the world. I've never been one to check with software and such where people that read this slight on humanity seem to reside, but every now and then I receive emails from people, written in broken English, stating that if I were to be posting these thoughts from their country I'd be stoned for treason, buggered up the bum by crack addicted pitbulls or poked in the eyes with sticks or something.
I've always thought that I had a few readers in Canadia (® Gus Greeper - 2007) a few In the U.S and everybody else reading away would be sitting in the warmth and soggy comfort of good ol' Blighty. Apparently not the case. Cue a quick impromptu consultation with a man that has many international fingers in many intercontinental pies:

"Fully Loaded, Deaf and Dumb and Done says:
How would you best respond to a threatening email from another country?

Scott☆ says:
why did you get one?

Fully Loaded, Deaf and Dumb and Done says:
several

Scott☆ says:
what did it say?

Fully Loaded, Deaf and Dumb and Done says:
called me gay

Scott☆ says:
hahaha

Scott☆ says:
why?

Fully Loaded, Deaf and Dumb and Done says:
plus I've got holiday coming up, i wanna send you some emails.

Fully Loaded, Deaf and Dumb and Done says:
something I wrote

Fully Loaded, Deaf and Dumb and Done says:
on t blog-site

Scott☆ says:
what did they say?

Fully Loaded, Deaf and Dumb and Done says:
Broken English "You are disrespecting god"

Fully Loaded, Deaf and Dumb and Done says:
maybe they actually think I'm homosexual

Scott☆ says:
hahaha

Scott☆ says:
which country?

Fully Loaded, Deaf and Dumb and Done says:
Not sure, plus I've always been respectful of Clapton.

Fully Loaded, Deaf and Dumb and Done says:
boom boom...

Scott☆ says:
haha

Scott☆ says:
tell them to fuck off

Fully Loaded, Deaf and Dumb and Done says:
yep yep

Scott☆ says:
or come here and fight you

Fully Loaded, Deaf and Dumb and Done says:
I'd lose.

Fully Loaded, Deaf and Dumb and Done says:
i have the physique of a chubby 14 year old girl

Scott☆ says:
tell them to fuck their god and burn that book of lies

Scott☆ says:
I'll be you

Fully Loaded, Deaf and Dumb and Done says:
the only people I can take in fights are chubby 13 year old girls

Scott☆ says:
haha"

We all know of course the correct response should be along the lines of "Why don't you come over here and say that, why don't you come over here and *give me a kiss (*to be pronounced: "Gizza-kiss")". On quick a side note I would like Scott☆ to be my legal representative should I ever go to trial for anything.

All of my own religious beliefs aside (including my theory entitled: "If Jesus was just a really really good magician then is Paul Daniels the quiet second coming?"), what I find difficult to understand is that if whatever religious faiths include the capacity to forgive, why don't these people just accept persons such as myself as lost causes and go about their day? Quite opposed to banging a drum and rubbing the (revised, rewritten and some times assumed) word of god(s) in the faces of the generally disinterested non believers.
It's extremely hard for me to understand how anyone can get even mildly offended by anything posted on here, It's just words on a screen,no big deal, HOWEVER, the little thought that goes into what I would call a 'classic' CJC post would astound and flabbergast the worlds most lazy and would even make my year 8 maths teacher Mr Davies raise an eyebrow and mutter something about socks and the pulling up of them.(The man always insisted it was no less than a miracle I made it to the classroom at all let alone on time... good guy).
So this would be, for lack of a better phrase the glue of these three posts. Whether you are yourself a Kentish Man, a Man of Kent or maybe even a crazy Canuck, this post is for all of you.
As for those with god(s) on their side and a chip on their shoulders, A friend of mine told me today that he went to school with someone that insisted that when playing the National Lottery you had a 50/50 chance of winning. This, the yokel insisted, was solely due to the fact you would either win or lose. This section of the three part opus that is this post is wholly dedicated to the worlds jaw dropping, lackluster logic that even the most obtuse and torpid mind can conjure. It is the dribbling back seat driver lodged in a child seat at the rear of my brain, completely confused as to it's surroundings and entirely unable to stop licking the inside wall of my skull...
...It does, however, have the best road trip stories.


High Friends In Places
Part 2/3 - "Kentish Men socialising with Men of Kent
& other stories... act 1"

I didn't like Kent. As the quintessential Essex boy that I am (that's quintessential NOT stereotypical) I found Kent initially over expensive and full of posh nobs and rubbish chavs. Allow me to elaborate.
I was living at the time in a very small village just north of Ashford, surrounded by the wealthy that want to be green but only to the point that they get to wear those croc shoes that make you look like you're a special needs child. You all know the type:

These bastards represented what I thought was the norm for the area for the first 2 months of me living down here in the Garden of England. That was until one day in the pub....

Sall, Sethrey & the gay(e) Gordan
True to my aforementioned quintessentialism, the very first thing I did when moving down here was to scope out the my new local pub.
I had hardley sunk my first Guinness when I had struck up a conversation with a local gent named Gordon, we talked about our repective dogs and how great the area is for walks until the conversation turned to speakers and drivers, a conversation that had lead from my asking of what his profession was and what it entails. I have always been of the persausion that you can tell quite a bit from people by their willingness to talk to perfect strangers in a bar and what they drink. He said that he restored furniture for a living and built cabinets and other furniture, I mentioned that the only time I myself had any kind of experience with that sort of thing was in high school when my bass player friend had built a cabinet for a bass amplifier fitted with a 15" Celestion bass speaker.
It was at this point we got into a (slightly beer buzzed) miniture argument about the quality of different brands of speakers, with him proclaiming "My daughter knows lots about speakers! She'll be here in a bit, she works for a speaker company! She'll be able to set you straight about speakers...". Enter Sall O'Mall: I would like to point out that I very rarely get introduced to new people as somebody else's "Gay Lover" and so on the very rare occasion that it does happen it's the kind of thing I tend to remember regardless of alcohol consumption. I was not very aware about the meaning and importance of this first meeting, after all I have always tended to keep my circle of friends a small and exclusive group. After talking to her for a few minutes (and assuring her of my total non-involvement in any of her fathers imaginary homosexual exploits) It became clear to me that she in fact knew very little about what made a good speaker citing such truths as "wattage is actually irrelivant in our speaker systems" and "so long as the sound is good what else matters?" with my only replies being "you don't know the wattage?!.... They don't tell you the wattage?!?!?!?". Confused, drunk and with what can only be described as a permanent puzzled look on my face I politely excused myself and dragged my befuzzled beer soaked mind off home.
Around six months later I started working for Bose, we'd make a weekly trip to a rubbish pub in town and watch local bands play funk-rock covers and that would just about mark the first time I met Seth (Pictured here showing off to me some urine that he'd made in the night) He works with Sally's dad as a furniture / wood restorer really bloody hard from what I've seen. He also makes these strange cube-chair things that are designed as space savers for the home. Lucky for me he is one of those rare people you randomly meet with not only wicked taste in obscure american indie rock music but the ability to wax lyrical about the subject. Needless to say we get on really well and spent a long weekend together in the Welsh countryside at what has been the best festival I have ever been to, a fact due to the setting, the bands and in no small part, the company I was keeping.


Coolio.

act 2 in the post.



"If my theory is correct then David Blaine is the anti-christ surely!...
... also christians with an itch to scratch, please note my inner strength and political correctness not to tag any obvious penis or masterbation joke onto the end of the phrase 'wood restorer' in this post. Complaints to be sent to the usual email address. Thanks."

High Friends In PlacesPart 3/3 - "Love is better than a warm trombone when blown softly..."

Prologue
So here it is, 3 of 3. I like this new format, Pic at the top (Clicky for links and bigger as normal) I'm glad I've stuck it out on here.
If you followed Part 1 & Part 2 of this opus of a trilogy then well done and thank you. You will find this third installment a delightfully short jaunt through a light smidgen of the musical bookshelf that is my brain, quite quite different from the paradox of crazy that have been the previous two installments.
I may put links to these posts in the side bar as they reflect exactly why I do this thing I do.
Excellent. Do enjoy. Word to your mother.
C.J

High Friends In Places
Part 3/3 - "Love is better than a warm trombone when
blown softly..."

Music is my life.
The title of these "High Friends In Places" is taken from a track by the amazing band Giant Drag, and that is kind of my point.
I remember the first time I ever heard Mudhoney's Touch Me I'm Sick. It was around the summer of '93 in my mate Dan Edmund's house and I remember thinking that "THAT is how music should sound all the time" I guess it was my first introduction to modern Rock music as I had only listened to stereotypical 70's rock and had been surrounded by 80's pop for the bulk of my formative years.
I'm not entirely sure if I softened musically during the late 90's but I did start listening to increasingly less and less harder edged music and started listening to heartfelt music. As my Last.fm page will tell you I found that retreat with a beat in Indie Rock.

I used to list them all on this very site, then I decided on this 'New' format and the rest you can see. I Digest.
A simple list of achievements would be nice, a little something to look back on. Easily accessible on the interwebs for all to see.
Nope. It's not there even if you look for it

It would be nice to see if I have also matured as a musician over the years. It would be good to see if my solo work is more progressive than The Hixon Trial stuff and whether those songs are in turn any 'better' than any of the Qual tracks.
Ramble ramble... I've been adding to this post for weeks now and that whole statement just gone is no longer the case for me and I think that really does have something to do with how actively I am pursuing my own musical fulfillment, for example now at present time of writing I am working on improvements to my lap steel playing for the band The Gutenberg Cabal. This Blog is kind of like a time machine like that, although I think my tastes haven't much changed they have really been added to. Built on.
If I was stopped in the street and asked to quickly to list a gossip magazine style top hottest (depending on the day) I would probably say:
Joanna Newsome

Amanda Palmer

Annie Hardy.

Not one of the above famous to your average Joe Public-McChaverson, but this post isn't about my on going quest to ram awesome new music down the throats of people with little or no taste. I started this blog as a music review / sobriety monitor style thinger. Even though I am quite aware that taste is subjective I always happen to be right in these matters, and here's that awful old list of links that used to adorn the side bar of this blog to prove it:

...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead
Arctic Monkeys
Ash
Lou Barlow
Beastie Boys
Belle & Sebastian
Ben Folds Five
Be Your Own PET
Frank Black
Bloc Party
Breeders
British Sea Power
Nick Cave
Billy Corgan
Graham Coxon
Do Me Bad Things
Echo & The Bunnymen
Editors
Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster
The Flaming Lips
Ben Folds
¡Forward, Russia!
PJ Harvey
The Hixon Trial
Interpol
Led Zeppelin
The Libertines
Loophole
Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks
Mansun
The Mars Volta
Mogwai
The Mountain Goats
Mower
Nofx
Mike Patton
Pixies
Qual
Queens Of The Stone Age
Radiohead
Rage Against The Machine
Reed & Kellogg
Sebadoh
Siversun Pickups
Elliott Smith
John Smith
Sonic Youth
System Of A Down
Rosie Thomas
Two Gallants
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
The Young Knives
We Are Scientists

And here It will remain, again, Like a time machine this blog.
I started that list nearly 4 years ago. I guess the modern equivalent is something more along the lines of this?:


Whatever. I guess if you do have any music orientated questions for me the email is same as it ever was.

Short. Sweet. Thanks for reading.

C.J

xo


"Wake me up before California darling boy, i always adore ya if this is what you want, then I'll leave... baby... maybe."